woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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