garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
