Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
