He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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