I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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