Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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