The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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