Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
