i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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