she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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