just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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