Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
