Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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