this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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