Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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