now i know why i became what i already was.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
