You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
