we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
