Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread