She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
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You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
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AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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