I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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