I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
