Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
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They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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