I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
