OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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