how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
