my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So squirting runs in the family.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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