I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My liver just had a heart attack.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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