hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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