i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
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In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
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Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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