so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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