11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
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