just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
