I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
is wine microwaveable?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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