Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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