I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
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Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
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A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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