i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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