it wasn't lemon gatorade
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
