One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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