i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize