Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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