i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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