i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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