He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
