come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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