Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
