Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Pants are for mortals
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
