After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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