that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
