I wish I only lived at night.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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