apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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