its not stalking. its research.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
