If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
