ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
