And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.