Already got asked if we're dating
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i think i just lost a toe