why didn't you poke me back
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
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So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
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Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.