after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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