Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(912): View more from Georgia

you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.

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(631): View more from New York

It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.

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(954): View more from Florida

I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had

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(325): View more from Texas

As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(707): View more from California

I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.

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(831): View more from California

i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila

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(740): View more from Ohio

I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.

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