It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
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You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
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I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My legs feel like baby dolphins