I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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