3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
