dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
