I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize