he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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