He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
why didn't you poke me back
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
