I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize