That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
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